With the most recent visit to Iowa City I have to admit I am experiencing a great deal of elation with finally understanding what the doctors have been trying to explain to us for a long time. This particular form of Leukemia has had a lot of advances made in the treatment process during the last ten years. And while we still have to go through the process of destroying the leukemic cells in Jody's body, and replace them with healthy normal cells, It almost feels too easy, and not fair.Let me explain that... As a pastor I have seen many types of cancer many times. I have witnessed long term battles for life that have had long terms of remission and re-occurrences, and I have seen people diagnosed and then last only a month or few weeks. And I have witnessed the agony of radiation and chemotherapy and their "side effects" or "major effects."
Now I love my wife and as I said, I am elated with the news that her health can be for all essential purposes normal, and that she can live with this CML for a long time without ever knowing it is there. The expected benchmarks for her on this medication is to be in full molecular remission in a period of 12 - 18 months; that fact is astounding. From then on she will join a group of cancer survivors for the indefinite future. However, even in the peripheral role of husband I feel like I living in the midst of experiencing shell-shock, or survivors guilt or something along that vein.
I do not know if it was the fact that we had built ourselves up so much for the magnitude of devastating news, or that as a pastor I just witnessed two beloved members be diagnosed with cancer and live only a few months after their diagnosis. Maybe it is this fact that makes me feel like Jody's and my good news is unfair to those who have experienced such devastating news only to be followed up with the final blow known as death.
Of course as a pastor again I believe that death for those who have a saving relationship with Jesus is nothing to be feared and in fact it is the greatest news of life that one can hope for. However the reality of pain that we who remain experience is undeniably difficult despite the depth of faith and hope that we claim.
For now all I can do is say "Thank You God for gifting us with a treatable form of Leukemia, and thank you for the years of life, happiness, family, and ministry that we have in front of us."
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Let me put a little different spin on it, if I may. Cancer is a scary word, we've all seen people taken from us by it. And here you have a testimony of survival. A testimony that cancer does not equal death. I can almost guarantee that you will continue to encounter people diagnosed with cancer and now you can say...with proof...that the word does not always mean death. You have hope for people sharing your life with you. That's pretty cool too. :-)
ReplyDeleteI have never been in your situation personally, so what I "think" is from that distant perspective. But (also being a pastor) it seems to me that Jody's in a win-win situation. Either the battle is won with the cancer, and the treatments are successful at giving her a long and full life. Or eternal presence with Christ is won, and thus begins the greatest adventure of all humankind. This is from the cancer patient's perspective, not from his/her family's perspective -- because they, of course, would suffer a loss if the person "wins" eternal life with Christ. Praise God for the hopeful prognosis! Rev. Jane
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